Fear.

So tonight was a fun night, very Halloween appropriate! Some of my very dearest friends and I wanted a good scare so we went on a little walk around the cemetery. We didn't actually go into the cemetery but we walked along the gate. It was dark, quite, and absolutely chilling. We were walking along when the street light about a hundred feet in front of us decided to flicker and die, this of course gave us the chills and we let out a few delightfully fearful screams. The light then turned back on, shiny and bright like nothing was wrong. As we continued to walk towards this street light, again it flickered and died. We turned the corner and at the exact same time Rayna and I exclaimed, "wait is that a person?" We paused and starred into the darkness. We convinced ourselves there was a shadow and turned to run away. Our adrenaline pumping, we were were making good time, grasping each other as we went. we ran past the light and, who would have guessed it turned off a third time. This strange event only made us move our little booties faster. We got to the car, got in and locked the doors. We (in between our panting) began to laugh. As we started driving, we had to pass the devil light one more time... and yeah you guessed it, as soon as we passed, it flickered to its death once again.

Halloween has never really been my favorite holiday but... i do enjoy a good scare every once in awhile :). Anyway the real purpose for me writing this blog is to convey something that i have been thinking about alot lately and that is the idea of fear. Fear is something i fear. Everyone has fears. Some are small things like spiders or heights, while others land themselves on a completely different scale. Things such as loneliness or wrong being done to those we love, maybe even fear of the things we feel or think, fear of our minds and the power it has over us. Fear is a horrible thing, it is or can be detrimental.

Fear is an everyday thing. Fear affects our decisions in our daily life and in our long term goals. Fear is what grants me my insecurities. Fear dulls my expression, dims my perceptions, confuses my thoughts, and distresses my demeanor. FEAR. this single word brings a rush of emotion to my heart and many words to my mind including doubt, despair, anxiety, distress, cowardice and darkness. Fear keeps my own mind from being free, I am a prisoner to my own fear. if fear was a person, what would we say about them.

"From in the shadow
She calls
And in the shadow
She finds a way
And in the shadow
She crawls
Clutching her faded photograph
My image under her thumb
Yes with a message for my heart
And in the mist
There she rides
And castles are burning in my heart
And as I twist I hold tight
And I ride to work every morning
Wondering why"

Fear is chaining my heart, keeping it from freedom.

Some of my favorite quotes on the topic of fear. Follow .


DON MIGUEL RUIZ:
Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive -- the risk to be alive and express what we really are.

ELEANOR ROOSEVELT:
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.

HENRY JAMES:
Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.

MARIANNE WILLIAMSON:
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.


RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
Do not be too timid and squeamish about your reactions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.


So fear. you listen here, and listen good. I'm leaving you and i don't feel bad.
you may miss my presence but i know for a fact i wont miss yours
I have the power to liberate myself from your grasp.
I'm breaking the chains.
I'm speaking up, taking charge flying free.
I'm planting a seed of faith. faith is your enemy fear.
SO fear beware.
My voice is coming through. and thats not easy.

FEAR AND FAITH CANNOT COEXSIST.
I'M GOING TO START LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST... AND THAT MEANS ABSENT OF FEAR.